Men - aren't they adorable?

Men, don't we just adore them? There are so many ways in which they are so fantastic. They can carry heavy things, for example, and are perfectly happy to carry said heavy things to the dump on a Saturday afternoon (providing there is no sport to watch). If you are on holiday they just love to get a map and guide you around the place, and carry that map in a crumpled wadge in their back pocket. They are also good at kicking a football around with the kids on a sunny day, or even taking them cycling on a rainy day. Men are also delightful when it comes to fetching an extra chair when you are having a drink (coffee or alcohol) with friends and there are not quite enough seats - usually of course having had it politely pointed out to them by their adoring partner first. And what about paying for and carrying the shopping? Some of them will even push a trolley - with a child in it! Yes there are many, many things that make men totally adorable.

But what is it about their tunnel vision? Is it a coping strategy for living with women and children? Is it a hangover from their neanderthal past, and genuinely (as they claim) not their fault? Is it simply laziness? Why can men not see what is in a fridge (apart from beer)? Why are they unable to find that favourite shirt hanging up in their own wardrobe without assistance from a female? Why, oh why, are they able to sit goggle eyed at a computer/television whilst you with your clicky stiletto heels are stomping past, to and fro, to and fro, with all the recycling in its different bags hanging off your frail form as though you are some kind of bag-lady? Then, when they finally do notice that something is afoot (the computer/television screen has steamed up with your laboured breathing) they say something truly irritating like 'what are you doing?'

Is every man on the planet like this? Are they born like it or is it an acquired skill? If it is acquired how have mothers allowed it to happen? Could they not have introduced some sort of instruction procedure which would give them better peripheral vision? Or is it an age thing which is acquired with puberty?

Whatever it is I would like to see an A level course in how to view widescreen. They do A levels in all sorts of other subjects, many of them useless, whilst this would be of supreme usefulness because it would promote harmony in the home. Think of all the shouting that would no longer be necessary. No yells of 'Where is my.........", no accusations of 'I put my ..........in the wash and now I can't find it?' No responses of, ' for gods sake have you no eyes? Here it is", and 'here it is' and 'here it is' and 'grrrrrr!' And above all no exasperated shriek of, 'Didn't you see me struggling to and fro with the recycling!' Really, so many people would benefit.

So I put it to the government or the education authority or whoever, please please address this important issue. Of course i will be wasting my time if they are men who make the decisions on such things since, with the application of tunnel vision, they will not have got beyond the first two sentences.