My horrible dream

Last night I had the most horrible dream. It was so horrible that I actually had to wake myself up from it. I dreamed that I was in a small terraced house with Bear Grylls (this is not the horrible part but it could have been). Why you may ask was I with Bear Grylls - it was a dream, and I do not know what he looks like but I do know that he has been asked to recruit more adults to run the scout movement. Even though this is of absolutely no interest to me - I know what scouts are like, to a boy they are snotty, dirty and no longer do bob-a-job but more give-us-your-bank-account-details- it obviously lodged in my brain. So, it was a perfectly ordinary house and we were in the sitting room. Bear Grylls said to me, 'you must now open your mind to all the horrors that have taken place in this room.' I said I couldn't. He said I could (he's that kind of a man, he will have no trouble recruiting those adults, maybe even me). I said I would. Sure enough as I gazed at a spot on the grey carpet I became aware that a gruesome murder had been carried out there - knives and blood and screams, the lot - and then I looked at another point over by the window and I realised that another hideous death had occurred, and then I realised that the whole room was redolent with disgusting visions of death and I was going to have to go through every single one! It was at this point I managed to wake myself up. For three quarters of an hour I could not sleep again. Then I had a coughing fit (I have recently been suffering with a tickly throat), a disgusting lozenge, and dozed off again.

I woke up at four am for a while just to congratulate myself on not dreaming and was awake for half an hour.

The truly horrible part is I now have such dark rings under my eyes my son says it looks as though someone has punched me and I have two shiny black eyes. Bear Grylls why did you enter my life and make it bad?