Sleeping positions as a character guide

Apparently two thirds of your life is spent asleep. Most of this time, I assume, is actually in a bed, rather than collapsed in front of the tv, lolling asleep in the passenger seat of the car, or during a boring lecture. If so, how significant is the position that we sleep in? Does it really reflect our personalities (yes, according to Professor Chris Idzikowski, director of the UK Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service) but how so, I query, when over your life your sleeping positions surely change? Does that mean that your personality changes? If so, does it change through just the experience of life (good and bad) or simply through the immutable passage of time?

In the light of this thought I have examined my own sleeping positions over the years with a direct comparison with my husbands and my childrens (little do they know but that is the reason why I, a mysterious, white clad figure have been hovering above them, noting their sp's). So, a totally non-scientific study, unlike the eminent Prof. Chris.

My husband likes to sleep in the 'soldier' position (look up Prof Chris) preferably with his arms raised above his head. He has always liked to sleep like this for as long as I have had the privilege of being in bed with him, and what a blight it is! Snoring! He must have invented it! Sometimes it is like waking up to Niagara Falls, other times a steam engine rushing past with a tooting whistle would be unheard against the whistling snore of my husband deeply asleep, or possibly it might be the deep heavy breathing of someone being slowly strangled. So, over the years, I have developed two strategies - one, to give him a sharp dig in the ribs (once, I am sorry to say, so sharp that I bruised him, but I was desperate m'lud) and two, to shout at him something along the lines of 'turn over you are snoring' (the words vary depending on how annoyed I am). However, as he has always slept in this position what does it signify about his character? Well, Prof Chris would say-

Soldier : Lying on your back with both arms pinned to your sides. People who sleep in this position are generally quiet and reserved. They don't like a fuss, but set themselves and others high standards.

No, no, no. This does not describe my husband in the slightest (maybe the high standards but I only slip that in if he reads this).

Now, myself, recently. I always used to sleep in the Soldier position and I am quiet and reserved on occasion, but recently I have found my self adopting the Freefall position. This is quite different. It shows that my personality has changed:

Freefall: Lying on your front with your hands around the pillow, and your head turned to one side. Often gregarious and brash people, but can be nervy and thin-skinned underneath, and don't like criticism, or extreme situations.

Although it is true that I don't like criticism, but then I put it to the world at large - who does? And what is an extreme situation? Teetering on the edge of a cliff on a crumbling path - rational or what? But does this mean that I have changed my personality. And will I ever attain the nirvana of the Starfish?

Starfish: Lying on your back with both arms up around the pillow. These sleepers make good friends because they are always ready to listen to others, and offer help when needed. They generally don't like to be the centre of attention.

Meanwhile what of my children? Well, all of them started off as Starfish, but now they have graduated to different positions, but every time I look at them they are differently positioned and there is a limit to how often a fond mother can pop in and out of bedrooms at night observing sleeping positions. So what are my conclusions? This. Take absolutely no notice of the position your loved ones take when they are asleep as a personality guide. You would do better to take note of what they say and do when they are awake, this will be more telling.

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