Tantric buddhism - is it for me? The other day I was in the Victoria and Albert Museum having just received some upsetting news. In order to retain my equilibrium I found myself concentrating hard on a small exhibition of buddha's in which the words Tantric immediately caught my eye. Of course, whilst not wishing to be vulgar we all know why - Sting and his Tantric sex which went on for hours - so I read the blurb and I have to say I began to understand why he had been so attracted to it....................

Yes, it was not all about the sex, or should I say no! it was not all about the sex. Far from it. What Sting is looking for is enlightenment in this life, and this in only attainable through this kind of Buddhism (as I understand it). The sex bit comes in because it is necessary for this to occur through the union of transcendental wisdom (represented by the female) and active compassion (represented by the male). Odd, clearly. I mean the wisdom I can see, the active compassion and male representation I struggle with but now obviously I understand why Sting zips around the world befriending rainforest Indians and so on. He is demonstrating his qualifications for active compassion. Amongst monks and nuns who are celibate apparently this union can be achieved without the sex, but obviously if you are a top, fit, dynamic pop star sex is essential and must be a core part of any life changing religion.

Tantric buddhism furthermore combines meditative techniques such as visualisation and breath control with elaborate esoteric (that's esoteric not erotic) rituals which can make enlightenment possible.

I learned all this from a single informative board and immediately thought, this could be for me!
I already have the transcendental wisdom, all I need to do is achieve union with active compassion and I am well away. It was at this point I decided to create this blog and tell the world to get on with it! Attain enlightenment in a single life time! Control your breathing! Concentrate on a tiny point of white light! It can be done.

Then. alas, I came home and looked on the Internet (for help with more meditative skills) and sadly I found that it is much more complicated than that single board had given me to think. Oh yes, you need training, you need dietary changes, you need commitment, and I am not sure but you may need to cut your hair! I am sure eyebrows would need to be addressed too. So with a heavy heart I realised that there is no easy path to enlightenment and with my busy schedule of writing this blog, commenting on other blogs, working in the bookshop and running a hectic social life for my friends (to which I occasionally invite myself) there would be no time. My transcendental wisdom would simply have to do. Maybe in my next life time I will do better.